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Democrat Voters To Sue Madonna For “Refusing To Keep Her Promise” Of Giving BJs To Those Who Vote For Hillary Clinton

PhotoCredit: Wikimedia Commons

 

In an interview with actress Elizabeth Banks for Billboard magazine published Monday, the 58-year-old pop icon said it felt like “someone died” after Trump defeated her preferred presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, in November. “It felt like women betrayed us. The percentage of women who voted for Trump was insanely high,” she added, joining others who have criticized other women for voting for Trump, including actress Lena Dunham. Madonna’s support for Clinton was no secret. The singer had even promised to perform oral sex on anyone who had voted for the Democratic presidential candidate.

However, since Hillary Clinton lost to Donald Trump, the “Material Girl,” apparently, backed out on her promise. But, it would seem that Hillary Clinton’s faithful voters haven’t forgotten their promised prize. “We want our BJs,” they chanted outside of the venue where the pop queen was interviewed. “Our memory span isn’t that short, lady, so get our here and keep your word,” the angry men shouted on the street, causing looks of wonder from passers by. “You’re not getting off that easily, but we most definitely are, if you know what we mean,” they kept yelling.

Naturally, media outlets slowly started rolling in, at one point causing some of the men to agree to interviews with different reporters. One particular person, who had up to that point been the loudest of the bunch, could be heard saying that “lawsuits are going to be under way,” because they were being cheated out of their “well-deserved oral pleasure.” “You think we enjoyed voting for Hillary Clinton?” he asked. “I don’t even keep up with politics. And to tell you the truth, none of these guys here do. We’re all just here for our blowjobs and we’re not leaving until we get what’s coming to us.”

Asked to elaborate, the man, who requested anonymity, said that he doesn’t care Hillary Clinton lost, “because a promise is a promise.” “Now, let me explain something to you very clearly,” he said. “I don’t care what anybody thinks, not you, not the people sitting at home, watching all this, and especially not the women who voted for Trump and who think this is all stupid. To tell you the truth – most of us guys here prefer Trump over Hillary anyway, but hey – a free BJ’s a free BJ. Show me a man who would turn that down and I’ll show you an idiot.”

He added, “And because we took the time from our busy schedules that involve watching football, eating junk food and getting drunk to go out and vote, we deserve to be compensated. And if Madonna said she’d pleasure us orally, then that’s what we want. We’re not asking her to lose her dignity or anything – though she lost that decades ago – we’re just asking her to man up and stick to her word.”

“And to clarify the situation further – what you’re seeing right here – this is us being nice and polite. Let’s call this a friendly reminder of what she has to do. And if she continues to ignore us, there’s going to be a whole lot of lawsuits flying her way. She can’t toy around with guys’ emotions like that, that’s very cruel. There’s more to us than just delicious meat,” he concluded.