Obama: “Climate Disasters Like The Louisiana Floods Could Force Us To Postpone Election, We Must Act Now”

Obama: “Climate Disasters Like The Louisiana Floods Could Force Us To Postpone Election, We Must Act Now”

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The catastrophic flood devastating Louisiana is now the worst natural disaster to strike the United States since Hurricane Sandy four years ago, the Red Cross said. “Thousands of people in Louisiana have lost everything they own and need our help now,” said Brad Kieserman, the Red Cross’ vice president of disaster services operations and logistics.

During Saturday’s Weekly Address, President Obama stated, “the threat of climate change means that protecting our public lands and waters is more important than ever. Rising temperatures could mean no more glaciers in Glacier National Park. No more Joshua Trees in Joshua Tree National Park. Rising seas could destroy vital ecosystems in the Everglades, even threaten Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty.”

The president also warned of the dangers of ecological catastrophes, like the one currently plaguing Louisiana. “We must not allow these kinds of natural disasters to catch us by surprise,” Obama argued. “My fellow Americans, we are blessed to be living in the greatest country in the world. And as the greatest country in the world, it doesn’t seem right that we should be capable of tearing down autocracies around the world and instilling democratic values in nations we have nothing in common with on one hand, and then be surprised by something as minor as a flood back home on the other. Those two situations don’t sit well with each other.”

The president also argued that, because national agencies failed to predict the danger of floods in Louisiana, the federal budget is now “bleeding funds” that could have been used otherwise for, say, “further strengthening the Iran deal.” “We must not let this happen again, we simply cannot afford it. Because, our national budget is already stretched far enough as it is, with the $400 million we gave Iran to release American hostages recently. But now we’ll have to cover the damages from the Louisiana floods, and that’s not a minor expenditure, not in the least. Therefore, my fellow Americans, the way to go here is to stop disasters from happening; not improve our response to them,” he argued.

“And in order to do that, we must act right now,” the president continued. “Otherwise, if climate change continues and we remain idle in our response to it, we could be facing far more devastating catastrophes down the road, including potentially postponing the November presidential election. And I would so very hate it if that were to happen. Let’s face it, I’ve been president long enough, and while I consider myself extremely lucky to have made a contribution to the glorious history of this country, at the same time, I’m relieved that my term is coming to and end. I would not like to remain president much longer, and I fear that would be required of me in the event of another catastrophic natural event.”

Obama also added, “Contrary to popular belief, being President of the United States is just as tiring as it is awesome, to put it in simple terms.” He also complained that “you’re surrounded 24/7 by people who suck up to you all day and then, as if that wasn’t enough, you go the bed and then you can’t get no sleep because the Mrs. expects her you to perform your marital duties. Then you wake up in the morning at dawn because the Marines are sounding the damn trumpet at 5 a.m. when they’re hoisting the American flag on the White House lawn, and let me tell you – that’s if you’re lucky.”

“If you’re not, you get woken up at 2.30 a.m. by a phone call that lets you know one of our embassies is blown up or that ISIS has taken over another town. At the end of the day, the only time you’re allowed to leave the Secret Service agents’ sight is when you’re on the toilet. I eventually had to start meditating during those times, otherwise I would have lost it during the first term,” President Obama concluded.