The great-great-great grandfather of Elizabeth Warren – who was long claimed to be part Native American – was not married to a Cherokee but actually rounded them up for the Trail of Tears, it has been claimed. But the Senate hopeful has dismissed the embarrassing reports as “politics as usual,” and has brushed off calls for her to prove she did not use her questionable heritage to further her law career. The denial comes after an article on Breitbart.com claimed Warren’s ancestor Jonathan Crawford was a member of the Tennessee Militia who rounded up Cherokees from their family homes.
“There’s really no reason whatsoever why I should entertain these kind of allegations,” Warren told the Huffington Post. “I don’t really care what they’re trying to portray me as, because at the end of the day I know who I am and where I come from. And they’re the ones who have a problem with it because they’re scared. And when you see someone who’s scared of a woman, you know they’re a woman-hater. Besides, even if I was lying, the truth would have found its way to the surface much sooner than right now. This all seems way too convenient, wouldn’t you say?”
Asked to comment on her alleged Native American heritage once more, Warren said that the first time she ever came in contact with traditional Native American attire was during a Halloween party when she was a child. “It was somewhere in the late 50’s, maybe even early 60’s,” she recalled. “We were getting ready to go out trick or treating and my mom came up with this Indian girl costume, complete with the makeup and feathers for my hair. If I remember correctly, people must have thought I was adorable because by the time the night was over, I had collected the most candy.”
“But regardless of that,” the Senate hopeful continued, “what matters now is that people can think whatever they like about me and my Native American heritage. And since I don’t own a time machine, I can’t very well go back in time and take pictures of any interracial intercourses, if you know what I mean,” she joked. “So, this is a free country and people have the right to think whatever they want, but most importantly, I think Native Americans are essential for the country we live in today, the continent we live on today and overall, the history of all of us here.”
Her rhetoric then took a turn for the weird: “And even if I actually don’t have any Native American blood in me, I mean, who cares? What’s important here is that I feel a very deep, primordial even, connection to Native Americans on so many levels. I feel like a member of that great nation that has been through so much. So what if some great-great-great grandfather of mine whom I’ve never met fought against Indians? That’s not me. I don’t care what happened in the past and neither should any of you. I consider myself part Native American today and that’s how I want to be perceived. And my nation will always have a representative in American politics, that I promise you,” she concluded.